DaddyDaughter Photo Shoot

This weekend, while my wife was out with some friends, I decided to take Keziah and Mia for a walk...a "photo-shoot".  It was a beautiful day and Keziah loves to take pictures.  Which works well because Mia loves to model.  In fact, Keziah tends to be most comfortable behind the camera while Mia will do just about anything to push her way to the end that captures an image of herself.

Just before we left, Keziah got mad about something and threw a fit.  It was a good opportunity for us to talk about art and how it truly is a reflection of what is in our hearts...that what's on the inside always rises to the surface, regardless of what venue we choose to express ourselves.  If she was stressed out or upset, it would be reflected in her pictures.  Perhaps a complicated concept for a five year old, but she seemed to understand.  We took a moment and prayed.  We asked God to help us capture His beauty in our pictures and to open our eyes to see it when we encounter it.  Mia, in the meantime, was looking for her shoes (which seem to be constantly lost) and sneaking cookies that Janelle had made the night before.
When Keziah had calmed herself down and felt at peace, we headed out the door.

Keziah loves to talk.  Especially when she is excited.  We talked about colors and textures and angles and whether or not to zoom in or zoom out.  I don't actually know what the professionals would say about these things, but that wasn't the point.  I wasn't trying to teach her anything.  I just wanted to engage with my little girl and to hear what is most important to her when she expresses herself.

About every block or so, Keziah saw something that stood out to her as beauty.  Of course, our model was usually off picking weeds and finding sticks several houses away.  Once we could convince her to stop digging in the dirt, Mia would come back and strike a pose, which Keziah directed firmly but patiently.  More than once, Mia decided to free-style and offered just a few too many of her own ideas for Keziah's liking.  With a stomp of the foot and flick of the hair, Keziah would turn off her hand-me-down digital camera and walk away.  Usually, Mia reluctantly responded by posing the way Keziah had originally instructed...but at least a few times, Keziah got a fitful of weeds thrown at the back of her head.  It was funny to watch.

Keziah chose our route and Mia committed herself to perfecting "top model" poses that made Keziah and I laugh.  I did my best to capture our outing with my iPhone while enjoying my little beauties.  Near the end of our excursion, we stumbled upon a grassy area where a large tree had lost it's blossoms and bright pink pedals covered the ground.  It was a gift from the Lord which reminded me of a scene out of "Anne of Green Gables".  The girls pretended they were princesses and we took our final pictures for the day.  I'm so thankful for my beautiful family and the amazing ways he has gifted each of my daughters.

Here are a few of the moments I was able to capture:

I pray I never allow my fears to hurt my pioneer

"What's a pioneer?"

As a parent with prophetic children, you gotta be ready to answer questions like these at the drop of a dime - there is no time to prepare lofty theological answers that make you feel good about your response.  And your children, if they are anything like mine, won't accept them anyway.  I am convicted that there are moments as a parent where I must choose my words very carefully, that the way I define life and it's issues will ultimately reflect on how my children view God Himself.   This was one of those moments.

"A pioneer is someone who has the courage to think, say, or do something that people around them are too afraid to try."

I don't know how that will hold up to the webster definition, but I felt like it was important that she understand that how someone responds to fear will often times determine whether or not they are able to be a pioneer.

I asked her if she can think of any pioneers in history.  We started with the basics...George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr. - people she had learned about in school.  We talked about the issues they confronted in our culture that caused fear to come up in the hearts of the people around them.  It was fun to watch Keziah's eyes begin to fill with life as revelation began to touch her heart.

She paused for a moment.  I could tell she was wrestling with something.  I asked my five-year old what she was thinking and she said that she thinks she knows a few pioneers herself.  She asked me if this was possible?  "Are pioneers only old people?"

I have been trying to work on asking questions rather than giving answers to people - not just with my children, but all across the board.  So rather than telling her what I think, I asked her if she thinks you have to be old in order to think, say, or do something that others are too afraid to try themselves.  I could tell this was a God-given opportunity to have a heart-to-heart with my little girl.

She decided that young people can be pioneers too.  She began to talk about some close friends of my wife and I who are working to raise the standard of living for a poverty-stricken people group in the mideast.  She put special emphasis on the wife of my friend who she recently met and who impacted her little heart significantly.  Keziah felt that this woman is a pioneer because if it were her, she'd be really afraid to leave her parents and have kids in a place that was so different.  She started to stutter over her words a bit (her mind comprehends more than her vocabulary can express).  But from what I gathered, she was realizing that in this specific situation, she was one of the people who would be too afraid to try - not the pioneer.

She paused again.  She doesn't like me to look at her while she is thinking.  Get's self-conscious.  The tv was on so we watched for a few minutes.  It kills me to give her that space.  I didn't want the conversation to end there, but I have to learn to trust God to direct the hearts of my children.  She could probably feel my anxiety as I waited to see if she had exhausted her little mind past what it could handle in this conversation.

To my relief, after a few minutes, she began to ask me questions about a good friend of mine who recently was murdered.  He was most definitely a pioneer.  For obvious reasons, I haven't shared the details surrounding his death with her, but she has most certainly witnessed me grieving over the last few weeks.  After determining that he too was a pioneer and discussing some of the things he did that others were too afraid to try, Keziah switched her focus back to the people who are afraid.  She asked me if I thought the person who killed my friend was a bad man?

I'm glad that I didn't have a chance to answer because the truth is, I don't think my answer would have been entirely accurate.  She continued, "...Cause I don't think he was.  I think he was just afraid."

Hmmmm...I had to think for a little bit.  I didn't like that answer.  I wanted to defend something, I don't even know what.  But I knew this was one of those moments where my response was telling my little girl who God is and that I better be careful cause I wasn't sure I was in touch with His heart on this matter.

I told her that not all people who are afraid are bad and that I think she might be right.  Maybe when we look at what happened to my friend through God's eyes, He doesn't see a monster...maybe He sees someone who is afraid.  God was using my little girl to reframe the situation for me in a way that made my heart break for the person who took my friend's life.

I explained to Keziah that fear can make people who we would consider "good" do very bad things.  She had already identified herself as someone who had fear in her heart.  I told her that she isn't a bad person, but that the fear inside of her can keep her from being a pioneer and can even make her be someone who hurts other pioneers.  I don't know if she understood with her mind everything that I said to her but her spirit was very much alive and I was choking back tears.

Then she told me that she thinks I am a pioneer cause I think church is like a family.  Then she said that she is one too - because even though she is still young, she hears God.

I gotta tell you, there wasn't a whole lot more to say after that.  We went back to watching cartoons while I sat with my arm around her and thanked God for giving me such an amazing little girl who really is a pioneer.  I pray I never allow my fears to hurt my pioneer.

Maybe these are questions we all should wrestle with.  If my five year old can, what's our excuse?
*Are you a pioneer?
*Are there fears keeping you from becoming one?
*Are the fears in your heart causing you to hurt other pioneers?